April 28th, 2012 by Sheree
Today is day seven of a hospital stay I never thought I would have. Not exactly the spring break I had in mind for 2012.
It started last Sunday afternoon when I spiked a temperature of 102.8 as a complication of chemotherapy and radiation. On top of that both my white blood cell and red blood cell count had dropped significantly causing me to be in a neutropenic precaution state. (I know… big words – what do they mean?) Basically I was at a high risk for infection.
I’m still in the hospital hoping to go home on Monday. As I sit in the hospital bed thinking about my week I realize just how wild it has been. First of all… Monday was my 29th wedding annivesary and I didn’t even know it until John showed up with flowers. (Not my normal response I can assure you) Besides that… I’ve been so sick that I don’t remeber much else about my week except that Thursday I had to have a blood transfusion.
Here’s the best part about this past week: While I’ve been sick – you have been praying. While I was unaware of what was going on you were holding me up in prayer.
It is so comforting to know that when I can’t… you will.
Now I ask for your prayers again. Currently my white blood cell count is fluctuating and needs to stabilize as well as increase in order for me to go home on Monday. Please join me in praying that all my blood cell counts will all get to what they need to be.
April 9th, 2012 by Sheree
You’ll find no fluff in this post because I have no fluff left in me.
It’s 1:45am and I can’t sleep. In 8 hours I will be receiving my last chemo treatment. Knowing that it’s the last one helps, but knowing how I am going to feel over the next week or so keeps me from being able to sleep now.
In addition to this last chemo treatment I also have 3 more weeks of radiation treatments; which is no walk in the park. At this point my throat is raw and I have blisters and sores in my mouth which make it hard to swallow and talk. Because of these side effects from the radiation I haven’t been able to eat anything for a couple of weeks now so my diet has consisted of Boost or Ensure only. To keep me from loosing to much weight I am receiving nutrition and fluids everyday through my port.
I have found that whatever side effect or problem I experience there is a pill or a patch or a potion to fix it. The only problem is that with each new pill, patch or potion there is another side effect that also has to be addressed. For me the worst of these experiences has been that everything they have given to me for pain or nausea has the side effect of constipation, which has been extremely painful. Just keeping it real…
Past the Halfway Point
At this point I’m a little more than halfway through my treatment program and I’ve had plenty of time to think about what God is trying to show me through this trial. I acknowledge I may never know this side of heaven why God has allowed this to happen to me, but I am recognizing a theme in what I am going through. The theme I’m recognizing is that God is stripping me of everything. I have no control over anything, not even my own bowl movements.
After a life time of thinking I had at least some control over my life through the decisions I made it was going to take something big for me to see that I’m not in control at all. God is showing me through this crash coarse that He controls everything.
Please pray for me as I walk out these last three weeks of treatment.